RUNAWAY TRUCK RAMP
One of my coworkers has a little boy who absolutely adores the new Nickelodeon Ninja Turtles series. Today was his fifth birthday and everything was TMNT-themed. He had a Ninja Turtles birthday cake, he got a Ninja Turtles DS game, and even received a Ninja Turtles bicycle. After his party at school, his mom brought him back to the office to finish out the day. While he was talking about things 5 year old boys talk about, somehow the topic of girls being Ninja Turtles came up.
"Girls can’t be Ninja Turtles!," he exclaimed.
"But what if they could be? Maybe they would wear pink," One of my coworkers facetiously asked him.
"Nooooo. They’re only boys! There’s no girl turtles!"
"OK, OK. There’s no girl turtles," the same coworker said, trying to calm him down.
Sensing that this would be a prime opportunity to either blow his mind or ruin his birthday, I called him over to my desk.
"You know [name redacted], there is a girl turtle."
"They can only be boys. There’s no girl turtle"
"Uh huh."
"[name redacted] you may want to listen to Terence," his mom says. "I have a feeling he’s about to show you something."
"Well then what’s her name?" [name redacted] said, almost calling my bluff.
"Venus."
He looked shocked. “Well then where is she from?”
"China."
"No, that’s not real. What color is she?"
"Light blue."
As I easily answered his questions, you could almost see see the confusion coming onto his face.
"Well then where is she?" He asked, seemingly in reference to why she hasn’t been shown in the cartoon.
"I don’t know, but I’ll show her to you."
As I showed him a YouTube clip of Venus and the Ninja Turtles meeting for the first time, you could see his confusion melt away into pure surprise as she pulled her hood back.
"Mom! There’s a girl turtle!?! Wow!!"
"I…see."
He stood at my desk watching the rest of that clip mouth agape. I don’t think he understood exactly what was going on, but he knew that he needed to give it his full attention. And even though Venus de Milo has been all but buried (and with good reason) by the TMNT overseers, it was still cool to see her cause the same shock and awe that she caused some almost 20 years ago.
Shame that I had a phone call come in after all of this went down. I was all ready to show him that weird Ninja Turtles x Power Rangers crossover.

One of my coworkers has a little boy who absolutely adores the new Nickelodeon Ninja Turtles series. Today was his fifth birthday and everything was TMNT-themed. He had a Ninja Turtles birthday cake, he got a Ninja Turtles DS game, and even received a Ninja Turtles bicycle. After his party at school, his mom brought him back to the office to finish out the day. While he was talking about things 5 year old boys talk about, somehow the topic of girls being Ninja Turtles came up.

"Girls can’t be Ninja Turtles!," he exclaimed.

"But what if they could be? Maybe they would wear pink," One of my coworkers facetiously asked him.

"Nooooo. They’re only boys! There’s no girl turtles!"

"OK, OK. There’s no girl turtles," the same coworker said, trying to calm him down.

Sensing that this would be a prime opportunity to either blow his mind or ruin his birthday, I called him over to my desk.

"You know [name redacted], there is a girl turtle."

"They can only be boys. There’s no girl turtle"

"Uh huh."

"[name redacted] you may want to listen to Terence," his mom says. "I have a feeling he’s about to show you something."

"Well then what’s her name?" [name redacted] said, almost calling my bluff.

"Venus."

He looked shocked. “Well then where is she from?”

"China."

"No, that’s not real. What color is she?"

"Light blue."

As I easily answered his questions, you could almost see see the confusion coming onto his face.

"Well then where is she?" He asked, seemingly in reference to why she hasn’t been shown in the cartoon.

"I don’t know, but I’ll show her to you."

As I showed him a YouTube clip of Venus and the Ninja Turtles meeting for the first time, you could see his confusion melt away into pure surprise as she pulled her hood back.

"Mom! There’s a girl turtle!?! Wow!!"

"I…see."

He stood at my desk watching the rest of that clip mouth agape. I don’t think he understood exactly what was going on, but he knew that he needed to give it his full attention. And even though Venus de Milo has been all but buried (and with good reason) by the TMNT overseers, it was still cool to see her cause the same shock and awe that she caused some almost 20 years ago.

Shame that I had a phone call come in after all of this went down. I was all ready to show him that weird Ninja Turtles x Power Rangers crossover.

fatmanatee:

With Mario Kart 8, I feel like an old grizzled vet getting back into the game after years out of the driver’s seat, and we’re at the 80s montage portion of training, endless 150cc laps until I decide I’m ready for the online game again. I’m not putting my name on the line until I master the boomerang.

two things:

a) reverse boomerang. extra deadly, never expected.

b) the red shell is the true equalizer. they are scarier than anything else in the game.

"The Xbox One: A Lying Failure Machine"

As I see it, the XB1 isn’t just a lying failure machine, but it’s also a system for those easily swayed by marketing. While I’m very pro Nintendo, I’m a gamer first and foremost and I just can’t seem to rationalize why I would ever spend money on an Xbox One. Even once you put all of the “180s” and outright lies aside, it comes down to the games, and the Xbox One brings almost nothing unique or exclusive to the table. Well, unless you really like Halo and Forza. In that case, buy away. Outside of the few Microsoft developed games, I see the Xbox One as a system trying to carve out its new identify on the backs of games that are widely available for cheaper on its predecessor or perform better on its competition.

No thanks.

And how hard is it to land even a minimum-wage job? This year, the Ivy League college admissions acceptance rate was 8.9%. Last year, when Walmart opened its first store in Washington, D.C., there were more than 23,000 applications for 600 jobs, which resulted in an acceptance rate of 2.6%, making the big box store about twice as selective as Harvard and five times as choosy as Cornell. Telling unemployed people to get off their couches (or out of the cars they live in or the shelters where they sleep) and get a job makes as much sense as telling them to go study at Harvard.

"Why Don’t the Unemployed Get Off Their Couches?" and Eight Other Critical Questions for Americans (via seriouslyamerica)

Don’t get me started.

(via tamorapierce)

I wanted to actually read this before just going “holy shit” and reblogging. This isn’t even the most eye-opening or important point in the article. You should read it.

Also, holy shit.

(via goestoeleven)

theuppitynegras:

dynastylnoire:

hikergirl:

Here is the link to the City Lab article and the link to the actual website, Turn On Detroit’s Water.
h/t to amomenttothink for retweeting this.

boooooooooooooooooost

Please spread this around

theuppitynegras:

dynastylnoire:

hikergirl:

Here is the link to the City Lab article and the link to the actual website, Turn On Detroit’s Water.

h/t to amomenttothink for retweeting this.

boooooooooooooooooost

Please spread this around


"My name is Paul Heyman and my client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania. Which is why, at this moment, my client hereby officially announces his intention to conquer John Cena and take the WWE world heavyweight championship at SummerSlam.
"Now, my client officially acknowledges this divide that permeates through the WWE Universe. There are those who wear their green t-shirts and pump up sneakers, and they scream with great passion their love and adulation for their hero by saying at the top of their lungs ‘let’s go Cena’. And there are those who offer the contrarian opinion and whose mommies don’t tuck them into bed at night and they will say with great fervor and passion ‘Cena sucks!’
"Now, it doesn’t matter to my client which side of the fence you want to ride on. This malpracticing Dr. of Thuganomics is in for the beating of a lifetime. I don’t just stand out there and spew hype and hyperbole. I exploit historical facts to shove my points down your throats. To wit: I offer you what happened the last time my client, Brock Lesnar, zeroed in on someone and decided to give them a beating.
"For years, everybody said I want to be the one to beat the Undertaker and snap the streak. But that wasn’t good enough for Brock Lesnar. At WrestleMania, my client, Brock Lesnar, gave such a violent beating to the Undertaker that Vince McMahon had to ride in the ambulance to the hospital with the Undertaker because even our heartless chairman was concerned for a dead man’s well being and life.
"Oh, John Cena? That same beating awaits you. And please don’t confuse my client with some stereotypical vilain that comes out here and say ‘John, you can escape this beating by giving up your title and laying it down at my feet.’ Brock Lesnar makes you no such offer. John Cena, you can’t escape this beating.
"At SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will take John Cena down.
"Brock Lesnar will punch John Cena’s face in.
"John Cena, you are going to be hurt by Brock Lesnar.
"Brock Lesnar is going to injure John Cena.
"Brock Lesnar is going to mangle John Cena.
"And then, and only then, Brock Lesnar is going to F-5 John Cena and strip John Cena of the dignity of being the WWE world heavyweight champion the same way Brock Lesnar stripped the Undertaker of his dignity and exposed the streak as just being a myth; the same myth that Brock Lesnar hears every week on television when John Cena is referred to as being the greatest WWE champion of all time. Fifteen world titles in 10 years… now that sounds like something worth conquering.
"I pledge allegiance to the greatness of the conquerer who stands before me. And to his dominance, for which I stand, one Cenation, under John, now divisible, with no more hustle, loyalty, or respect for all.
"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and I’m the one behind the 1 in 21 and 1, and at SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will beat John Cena and become the WWE heavyweight champion of the world."

"My name is Paul Heyman and my client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania. Which is why, at this moment, my client hereby officially announces his intention to conquer John Cena and take the WWE world heavyweight championship at SummerSlam.

"Now, my client officially acknowledges this divide that permeates through the WWE Universe. There are those who wear their green t-shirts and pump up sneakers, and they scream with great passion their love and adulation for their hero by saying at the top of their lungs ‘let’s go Cena’. And there are those who offer the contrarian opinion and whose mommies don’t tuck them into bed at night and they will say with great fervor and passion ‘Cena sucks!’

"Now, it doesn’t matter to my client which side of the fence you want to ride on. This malpracticing Dr. of Thuganomics is in for the beating of a lifetime. I don’t just stand out there and spew hype and hyperbole. I exploit historical facts to shove my points down your throats. To wit: I offer you what happened the last time my client, Brock Lesnar, zeroed in on someone and decided to give them a beating.

"For years, everybody said I want to be the one to beat the Undertaker and snap the streak. But that wasn’t good enough for Brock Lesnar. At WrestleMania, my client, Brock Lesnar, gave such a violent beating to the Undertaker that Vince McMahon had to ride in the ambulance to the hospital with the Undertaker because even our heartless chairman was concerned for a dead man’s well being and life.

"Oh, John Cena? That same beating awaits you. And please don’t confuse my client with some stereotypical vilain that comes out here and say ‘John, you can escape this beating by giving up your title and laying it down at my feet.’ Brock Lesnar makes you no such offer. John Cena, you can’t escape this beating.

"At SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will take John Cena down.

"Brock Lesnar will punch John Cena’s face in.

"John Cena, you are going to be hurt by Brock Lesnar.

"Brock Lesnar is going to injure John Cena.

"Brock Lesnar is going to mangle John Cena.

"And then, and only then, Brock Lesnar is going to F-5 John Cena and strip John Cena of the dignity of being the WWE world heavyweight champion the same way Brock Lesnar stripped the Undertaker of his dignity and exposed the streak as just being a myth; the same myth that Brock Lesnar hears every week on television when John Cena is referred to as being the greatest WWE champion of all time. Fifteen world titles in 10 years… now that sounds like something worth conquering.

"I pledge allegiance to the greatness of the conquerer who stands before me. And to his dominance, for which I stand, one Cenation, under John, now divisible, with no more hustle, loyalty, or respect for all.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and I’m the one behind the 1 in 21 and 1, and at SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will beat John Cena and become the WWE heavyweight champion of the world."

Smile Like You Mean It

Yesterday was weird.

Everything seemed to be stuck in this sludge of gloom and doom. If I had to sum up yesterday in one word, ‘malaise’ would have been it. No one seemed to be having a good day.

Personally, I didn’t have a bad day, but everyone else’s attitude did seem to bring mine down.

Today will be better.

pixeldujour:

thesoupyone:

I asked my 6 year old sister to name the Smash Bros characters confirmed so far…

Pakistan.

Ghost Peach.

pixeldujour:

thesoupyone:

I asked my 6 year old sister to name the Smash Bros characters confirmed so far…

Pakistan.

Ghost Peach.

What do you post to Facebook? Pictures of yourself yelling at your kids, or having a hard time at work? No, you post smiling photos of a hiking trip with friends. You build a fake life — or at least an incomplete one — and share it. Furthermore, you consume almost exclusively the fake lives of your social media “friends.” Unless you are extraordinarily self-aware, how could it not make you feel worse to spend part of your time pretending to be happier than you are, and the other part of your time seeing how much happier others seem to be than you?

Arthur C Brooks (via jorshuwah)

I see this written about a lot. Our “fake lives” on social media. Two thoughts:

1) Speaking about it this way sets it up as though we’re intentionally being deceitful. I don’t think this is always, or even usually, the case. It’s simply the way people work. We share the happy stuff not because we’re trying to mislead people about how happy we are, but because it’s what we want to remember. Yes, the social aspect of it complicates things, but to me Facebook really functions as a high-tech version of a photo album or maybe a scrapbook. You wouldn’t put the photo of yourself, dejected, after a fight with your significant other in a photo album, right? Yes, others can see what I put on Facebook, but that’s just a bonus. It’s on there for me.

2) I have no doubt that only seeing the happy parts of people’s lives could potentially have a negative effect on some people’s perceptions of their own lives. I think Tumblr is an interesting counterpoint in that way. Because we use it to share happy times and good things, but we also write about the bad days, and the personal struggles. I think we get a much more complete picture of each other’s lives.

(via goestoeleven)

(bolded for emphasis)

I know more about some of you here, (mostly) people that I’ve never met compared to some of my ‘friends’ on facebook. It’s for that reason, I try to actively participate in tumblr when I can. While it’s not much, I’m way more active here than I am on facebook.

humansofnewyork:

"I’ve been a deep believer my whole life. 18 years as a Southern Baptist. More than 40 years as a mainline Protestant. I’m an ordained pastor. But it’s just stopped making sense to me. You see people doing terrible things in the name of religion, and you think: ‘Those people believe just as strongly as I do. They’re just as convinced as I am.’ And it just doesn’t make sense anymore. It doesn’t make sense to believe in a God that dabbles in people’s lives. If a plane crashes, and one person survives, everyone thanks God. They say: ‘God had a purpose for that person. God saved her for a reason!’ Do we not realize how cruel that is? Do we not realize how cruel it is to say that if God had a purpose for that person, he also had a purpose in killing everyone else on that plane? And a purpose in starving millions of children? A purpose in slavery and genocide? For every time you say that there’s a purpose behind one person’s success, you invalidate billions of people. You say there is a purpose to their suffering. And that’s just cruel."

humansofnewyork:

"I’ve been a deep believer my whole life. 18 years as a Southern Baptist. More than 40 years as a mainline Protestant. I’m an ordained pastor. But it’s just stopped making sense to me. You see people doing terrible things in the name of religion, and you think: ‘Those people believe just as strongly as I do. They’re just as convinced as I am.’ And it just doesn’t make sense anymore. It doesn’t make sense to believe in a God that dabbles in people’s lives. If a plane crashes, and one person survives, everyone thanks God. They say: ‘God had a purpose for that person. God saved her for a reason!’ Do we not realize how cruel that is? Do we not realize how cruel it is to say that if God had a purpose for that person, he also had a purpose in killing everyone else on that plane? And a purpose in starving millions of children? A purpose in slavery and genocide? For every time you say that there’s a purpose behind one person’s success, you invalidate billions of people. You say there is a purpose to their suffering. And that’s just cruel."